Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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