Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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