Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
