dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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