I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
no. you can't hotbox the world.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
