i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
