That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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