i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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