We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Such a big mess for such a small penis
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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