"it" just moved
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
