The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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