dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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