Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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