Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
