just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
