Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
