Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
