I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
