We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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