my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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