we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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