Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
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One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
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We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
He did a backflip because drugs
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