I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I am one with the molecules
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
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