there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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