Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
