ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
