so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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