You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
