are you so shy because you have an std?
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
