Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
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I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
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You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
My butt remains clenched, sir.
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