so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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