I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
