i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
