there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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