i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
