i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
