Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
