i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
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This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
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I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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