You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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