yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
