I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
