Who wears a wallet chain?!
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize