I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
