You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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