I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
So much Jack, so little girl.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
