I want to make a zoo with you.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
