do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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