D3 body, D1 cock
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
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