Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
now i know why i became what i already was.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Randomize
