Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
