Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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