You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
