we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
