best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
