I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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