I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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