When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
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