you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
