I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize