OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize