I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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