you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
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