so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
