My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
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I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
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Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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