i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
